It seems that Winston is having a hard time buying into what big brother is selling because he has memories from the past before the time of Big Brother and Oceania. These memories have been suppressed my the party for so long that Winston can only think about these memories subconsciencely. Until he saw the glass paper weight. For some reason the paper weight sparks his imagination as well as his memories of the past. All of these fantasies as well as true memories are keeping Winston from fully believing Big Brother and The Party.
Winston's acts of defiance ARE a form of protest. Although they are subtle and unnoticed, until chapter 10, these acts are his own personal way to defy The Party without being publicly embarrassed or immediately vaporized.
Winston's rebellion would compare to the modern day "Occupy wall-street" movement. Theses protesters are not doing anything to hurt anyone as rebellion. They are simply speaking out their dislike of what the government is doing. As is Winston.
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